Monday, September 27, 2010

Things that are undervalued: Spontaneous Bro Time

Other than "the talk," bro time is the most important thing in a young man's life.  There are very few things more rewarding than hanging out with a bunch of dudes and discussing the very deep emotions that live inside of our hearts and souls.  Even better, though, is when this bro-ing (broing? browing?) happens without any premeditation.  This means that the only dudes that are there are those who want to be there, as opposed to these other species of dudes.

(Brief tangent):

The dude without any friends
This guy has nobody to go hang out with so he resorts to coming to hang out with you, mostly because you are either too nice to tell him to buzz off or because you and him are in the awkward range of semi-friends, where you really would never go out of your way to do anything with him, even if "out of your way" consisted of waiting 5 to 10 seconds for him to catch up, but you also don't dislike him.  Incredibly, this guy has no idea that you aren't close friends with him, making the whole situation even weirder.  This friendship purgatory is quite possibly the strangest situation that fits in the category of "human interactions," and therefore will take away from regular Bro Time.  This guy will rarely attend Spontaneous Bro Time because: A.  He will have been ditched by this point or B.  You'll finally get weirded out enough to tell him to leave.

The dude who would much rather be hanging out with his girlfriend
This guy is easily recognizable because of the phone that is seemingly glued to his hand.  He checks it every 2-2.7 seconds and often explains that his texts aren't being answered because of the "shitty service" inside the building.  This guy is closely related to the "guy who is way more into his girlfriend than she is to him."  He detracts from all bro-ing by constant use of his pissy face and by sending out negative vibes that kill even the most remote signs of joy.

The dude who wants to go to bed
This guy has the ability to be extremely sneaky in his desire to ruin Bro Time.  Because bedtime is generally a somewhat unplanned decision, he has the ability to drop the bed bomb even after contributing to the Bro Time.  He generally decides to do this just as the peak of Bro Time is being reached, totally ruining everything and immediately demoting him to the status of "the dude without any friends." 

(end of tangent)

Without any of these guys, Spontaneous Bro Time has a much higher potential for bonding than regular Bro Time.  Adding to this experience is the fact that Spontaneous Bro Time is often in close quarters, such as a bed or a quad bench.  Not only does this create a closed conversation that can keep out the aforementioned weenies, but it creates a situation where nobody feels bad about semi-cuddling together, which is, for some reason, frowned upon.  This setting allows for bro-love that spreads more rapidly than the flu virus in a kindergarten.


The reason that Spontaneous Bro Time is so underrated is that it can never be premeditated, or it would lose it's spontaneousness (I'm pretty sure that's a word).  On the other hand, this is the exact thing that makes it so incredible.  Spontaneous Bro Time is Bro Time that has reached the elite level, and if it were planned, it would be impossible to obtain.  Beauty comes from purity.  Spontaneous Bro Time is the most pure that love can be, and therefore, Spontaneous Bro Time, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

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