Life is About Experiences

"From the time I was only six years old, I never forgot what I was told.  It was the best advice that I ever had.  It came from my wise and dear old dad.  He said, 'Sit down punk, I want to talk to you, and don't say a word until I'm through.  Now there's a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to live and a time to die.  A time to break and a time to chill, to act civilized, or act real ill, but whatever you do in your life time, you never let an M.C. steal your rhyme.'  So from sixty-six to this very day, I'll always remember what he had to say." - Big Bang Hank, a.k.a. Imp the Dimp, a.k.a. Henry Jackson

Big Bang Hank, Master Gee, and Wonder Mike

I had always thought that Big Bang Hank and I had much more in common than our love for sweaters and pillbox hats, and it turns out I was right.  I had a very similar conversation with my dear old dad mom, except it wasn't really a conversation.  It kind of just happened out of the flow of a different conversation, which I don't really remember the details of (which means it might have been like the Big Bang family's discussion), but I do remember her telling me to "do hard things."

The "hard thing" she used as an example was putting up with me instead of sending me to the orphanage.

It's really, really easy to take the easy way out.  Really easy.  With almost every problem that we face there's an easy way to go about it and a hard way.  One route requires much more effort than the other, and one route leads us into the unknown while the other takes us back to the comfort zone.  And why should we ever leave our comfort zone?  There's a reason that it's comfortable.  And as you've said before, Young William, we should do the things that we love.  I love being in my comfort zone.

My mother says that you're wrong (And she's a very nice lady).

Taking the easy road and the hard road create much different final solutions, as Robert Frost once told us.  The easy road does allow us to reach our comfort zone, it allows us to go places that are familiar and be around people that are familiar.  There's nothing wrong with this.  This is totally understandable.  We all do it every single day.  The unknown is scary, and it's pretty much innate to avoid things that scare us.  It's much easier to go back to the people we know and the situations we know and just avoid the difficulties that come with accomplishing difficult feats.  But where does this get us?  Experiences help us grow.  Experiences make us who we are.  Without experiences, everybody is the same.

Think about it.  Accomplishments tell people very little about us.  Accolades and awards and achievements draw a very vague outline.  The color comes with stories.  A company would never hire an employee based solely off of their resume, they'd want an interview.  You would never go on a first date and simply list off a bunch of things that you'd done, you'd tell people about you (jersey chasers and athletes excluded).  The things that we're proud of are the things that we've overcome, the things that we've beaten, the things that we were able to do that very few other people are able to do.  These are the things that our friends tell their friends about.  These are the things that make us walk a little taller, make us hold our chin up a little higher, these are things that people can't touch.  The rewards we get are great, but they really wouldn't mean anything if it weren't for we didn't have to work for it.  Common rule of economics: If there's a high supply of something, the demand goes down, as does the value.  Therefore, if something is readily available to everybody, it won't mean as much, and everybody will have it.  If everybody has it, that really doesn't make it as cool.  According to Jimmy Dugan, manager of the Rockford Peaches, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great."  Fifteen years ago, hitting 60 home runs was considered elite, but thanks to a bunch of jerks (three in specific) who took the easy way out, it was devalued, and now Roger Maris and Babe Ruth really aren't seen as the specimens that they once were.

Anybody can do things the easy way.  Anybody can cop out and do things that everybody else is doing.  It takes special people to be able to say "screw this, I'm doing my own thing," and then go out and do it. 

If the easy things are a walk in the park, the hard things are a twelve round, knock-down, drag-out, can't lift your arms slugfest against life.  It's not fun in any traditional sense, but it is fun because you're the underdog, because you get to prove everyone wrong, because you get to accomplish something that very few people can actually accomplish, and whether or not you achieved anything, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried.  In a poll of LtP staff, the unanimous result was that there was nothing worse than never having tried.  It's much better to fight and fight and fight and lose than to never have given it a shot to avoid failure.  Either way you're in the same place.  You lack the same spoils of victory, but when you don't try, you'll have "what ifs" in the back of your mind for as long as you have a pulse.

There's no reason to make things unnecessarily hard; that gets us nowhere and that's not what I'm trying to suggest.  We shouldn't climb a mountain to buy more toilet paper, but when given a difficult or scary opportunity, we should be open-minded enough to accept the challenge.  We should want to have an arsenal of stories to tell the grandkids, we should want to have them to be proud of, we should want to have them to be able to grow towards who we truly are.  At the end of the day, it won't matter what we have.  You can't take what you have with you, but you can take what you do with you.  Experiences don't weigh us down, they lift us up, and we have an infinite amount of space for them.  They can't be controlled by shelves or by standards or by the number of carry-ons allowed or by the government or by anybody.  Life is about experiences, and the best ones, the most valuable ones, are the ones that come from doing the difficult things that seem daunting.  If we turn and run from these, we will never know the height of our true potential, and if we face them, we'll find that our potential reaches much higher than we ever could have imagined.

On childhood

I had a very productive day on Monday.  I went to class, I ate two meals, I wrote four sentences of a spanish essay, and I played with LEGOs all afternoon (well, cheap, off-brand, we-don't-include-all-the-pieces-not-even-the-sweet-looking-gun building blocks, but what do you expect from a dude with a negative $40,000 a year income? (would that be a $40,000 a year outcome?  Do outcomes exist in a non-"the outcome of this event" sense?))  I had seen a sweet 500-piece aircraft carrier set at Walgreen's the day before, and since it was only 20 bucks, I decided that it couldn't pass it up, so after passing it up on Sunday, I went back on Monday to get it.  "But Young William," you ask, "you're nineteen years old and a college sophomore.  Haven't you outgrown that kind of stuff?"  To that I respond: not a chance.  It took a few hours to build, the final product was kind of a piece (read: the people are significantly bigger than the airplanes), and it was as much fun as it was when I was little.

Approximate ratio of sailor to plane

In recent months, I've been really concerned about growing up.  I'm only 103 days from leaving my teenage years, and because of this, I'm fairly sure that I have to do certain things such as "maturing", "becoming responsible", and "not acting like a 4 year-old."  For obvious reasons, this is mortifying. 

A few recent events have made me realize that maybe it isn't so bad.  First, reading Stuart's incredible essay on happiness made me feel better about myself, and when that started wearing off the LEGOs were right there to pick me up.

Basically, this stupid, 496-piece, fake, badly-proportioned LEGO boat reminded me that childhood is a state of mind as opposed to a time period.  Childhood only ends when we decide it has to end.

I'm not completely sure what the kid on the right is doing to make the kid in the middle scream like that, but the little girl seems to be enjoying herself.

The best part about kids is that they live in the moment.  They have nothing to worry about, no pressures, no cares, no nothing.  The only things that concern them are enjoying themselves in the moment.  They love the things that we all love, but they love the little things just as much.  They laugh at little jokes, they don't worry about why they're doing things, they don't worry about how they'll be judged.  They just act.  That's not saying that they will disregard everything in the future (they're not that stupid), it's just saying that they might as well enjoy the here and now, because before they know it, it'll be gone.  Seems a lot like life if you ask me...

I've heard the phrase, "You have to learn to love the little things."  That's ridiculous.  We all know how to love the little things already, but too often we push it aside, too often we worry about tomorrow, too often ignore these beautiful moments in order to agonize over totally unrelated big things.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  If we can't take the time to smile now because we think we have to figure out how to get a job I think we have our priorities messed up.

Editor's Note: "In Between Days," by Ben Folds (originally by The Cure) just came on shuffle.  "What are the first words, Young William?" you may ask.  Well, here's the answer:
Yesterday i got so old
I felt like i could die
Yesterday i got so old
It made me want to cry
Go on go on
Just walk away
Go on go on
Your choice is made
How perfect is that for what we're talking about?  After that, the song becomes a lot less relevant, but seriously, this is awesome.  Just don't give up on childhood.  We all know that giving up on important things is stupid anyway.

There are people in this world who try to grow up.  They try to act mature, they try to make your decisions for you, and overall they act like their job is to run your life.  They don't allow for experimentation, they don't try things that are scary (Editor's note: The best advice that Young William's mother (an incredible woman) told him was that he should "do hard things."  They make us who we are)

Editor's note: This just came on iTunes.  Start listening.  I promise it's worth it.

At this point, I'd like to tell you about a few of my favorite people.  These people pretty much radiate joy.  The first is involved in everything.  She's in band, choir, runs cross-country and track, does a lot for her church, has incredibly good grades, and is a wonderful sister.  She has a million reasons to be angry and stressed, but I've never seen her seem anything but upbeat and positive.  I think about things that stress me out, compare them to what she has on her plate, and realize that if she can handle everything she does and still be happy, I can probably figure out a way to juggle my few problems and still stay positive.  She loves everything that she does, she finds the little joys in all of it, and she reaps the benefits.  She's a child, both physically and at heart, and she's one of the most mature people that I know.

The second is my barber.  Every time that I go in to get my hair cut, George tells me that he "has more fun at work than anybody," and it's completely true.  He laughs, he jokes, he plays around, he thinks he's a pirate, and he manages to improve the mood of everyone around him.  George is a grandfather, but his childhood never ended and shows no signs of doing so.  He is also one person that I trust as much as anybody.  Keep in mind that I've only known him for two years and that I see him once a month for twenty minutes.  That adds up to a total of eight hours I've spent with the guy.  He's just somebody that can be trusted, somebody that opens up, somebody that I'm sure would love to play with LEGOs if given the opportunity.  Haircutting isn't a job that most people would consider glamorous, but George believes that most people are wrong.  He loves his job, he takes pride in his job, and because of that, I admire him as much as I admire anyone.  If I can't find a job that makes me as happy as George's does for him, I know that I better keep looking.  George loves the little things.  He doesn't worry about what other people think, and he'll be a little kid forever.

Doesn't he just look like a happy man?

Neither of these people are immature in any regards.  They're two of the most mature people that I know.  They don't fit the common definition of maturity, though.  Maturity isn't doing things that we're "supposed to do."  Maturity is having the courage to do things that most people are afraid to do and being able to stay confident in yourself and have pride in what you do.  When you can do these things without having to give second and third thoughts to what the popular opinion is, that's when you have reached maturity.  So maybe we should look at kids a little bit more.  Little kids don't worry about what other people think about them; they just play.  They enjoy themselves.  They take advantage of the moment.  They love the small things.

I'm nineteen years old.  I loved spending my afternoon playing with LEGOs.  I still have an infatuation with trains.  I still believe there's a way that I'll end up playing Major League Baseball.  I'm fairly confident that I'll retire to Port Douglas, Australia.  I know that I'm surrounded by enough good things that there's no reason to ever be sad for more than a little while.

I'm not planning on giving up my childhood anytime soon.  This doesn't mean I'm going to throw temper tantrums and this doesn't meant that I won't be planning for the future, but it does mean that I'm not going to force myself to "outgrow" anything.  Different small joys will come and go and we'll all have different desires, but I don't think it's ever a good idea to do things just because they're "supposed" to happen, or just because it's what we're "supposed" to do, or because it's what other people, or even our friends, tell us it's what they want us to do.  We should love what we love because we love it, just like children do.  There don't need to be secondary consequences.  We may not be children anymore, but that doesn't mean our childhoods are over.  It's logic like that that sucks the fun out of the world.

“We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."

So after a week of feeling inferior to Really Young Stuart after his brilliant post on happiness I've decided that it's time for a comeback.  I'm sure that in comparison, the following will seem pretty inferior, but I'm a big believer in not giving up on things, so I'm not planning on being deemed the worse writer without putting up a fight.  I'm a big fan of persistence.  If you believe in something, I don't think there's ever really a good reason to give up on it.  I just don't follow that line of thinking.  Obviously, there are certain situations, like when the dining hall isn't serving peppered flank steak, where you kind of have to give up and resort to being disappointed.  Other things, more important things, things that you're more passionate about, really shouldn't be disregarded, even when it seems like there's no more chance left.

Vince Lombardi smiles as he admires the killer booger he just picked out of the world's largest schnoz.

Vince Lombardi, recently named the Greatest Football Coach in the History of the All-Time World Forever and Ever by Letters to Pilky staff (narrowly edging Jon McLaughlin by one vote), once said “We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."  I'm not really sure what the context was (although I'm assuming somebody had just asked him about losing a game), but in my opinion, this is one of the wisest philosophies ever produced.  Basically, this guy was just badass enough to say, "If I had enough time, I'm a good enough coach to have come back and beaten you.  Eventually I would have been able to prove that I'm the best.  You're just getting lucky right now."

I'm pretty positive that everybody has at least one issue that they believe in enough to say this about it.  Something that they are so passionate about that they refuse to let it die, refuse to let it go, refuse to listen to many logical arguments about why it won't work.  This may be stupid, but I admire it.

There's normally a standard amount of time to accomplish something, and whether or not it's official, it's generally accepted by society to be a certain way.  After this time period, people are generally supposed to give up.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  The people who refuse this time period, the end of the 4th quarter, as Coach Lombardi would say, generally turn into some of the most highly regarded by the same society that tried to tell them to stop.

Example: This guy

Aaaaaaaand him

Yep.  Him too.

Plus this guy

All of these guys took things that failed, that were supposed to not be able to happen, that other people said were impossible, and refused to accept it until they finally reached their goal.  To quote Chazz Michael Michaels, "They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them."  Seriously though.  Even though there's no better feeling than being able to do something that's "impossible," that's not really the reason that any of those people did the things that they did.  They were passionate about them, believed they were worth the effort, so they were able to refuse the idea that what they were doing had actually been previously thought to not be able to, well, you know, be done.

Things aren't over for you until you decide they are.  As long as you believe in something, there's probably a reason for it, and it's probably a pretty smart decision to pursue it.  Even if you fail, you're in the exact same position as you are without trying, and it's always better to try and fail than to never try at all.

Passion and hard work drive the world.  This is one thing that I don't think I can ever be talked out of.  People talk about "world-beaters" all the time, and the one thing that they have in common is that they have a strong passion for something and they're willing to work until they achieve it.  The two words that often precede "world-beater" are "focused" and "driven," and it's no coincidence that those are pretty synonymous with "people who refuse to accept 'no' for an answer."  The things that can be accomplished by this type of mentality are obviously hard, but hard things are often worth doing, even if you've been told that time has run out.

Rejoice!

Clockwise from top right: Pennies for Peace students, Ben Folds, Pre, Will Hunting, Kyle McAlarney, David Cone and Jorge Posada, Andy DuFrense, and a generic (but very cute) baby

I haven't had the best of weeks due to a number of various things, but just now, after coming back from Dawg Mass, the following was in my inbox.  I know feel a gazillion times better (statistics approximated) thanks to Very Young Stuart (the first).  Brothers need brothers.

Rejoice!

 I have seen the end of the rainbow.  Running through the school parking lot last Thursday at the end of cross country practice, light was refracted through the swirling rain onto clouds in the distance and the cars right in front of me.  There was no leprechaun, and there was no pot of gold, just the gift of beauty, more valuable than any metal in the universe.

Rainbows have puzzled mankind for centuries, an inexplicable link between Heaven and Earth, a rare piece of insight into the laws of the universe.  They have been the topic of scientific studies, literature, and music.  According to Christian and Jewish doctrine, the Rainbow is a sign of God's promise to never again destroy humanity.  The Norse believed that the Rainbow was a path between the Gods and themselves.  For me, it will always signify something more important: the eternal presence of light, even in the darkest storm.

People worry too much.  This was brought to my attention a month ago by my mother, who had learned it from her yoga instructor.  During the moment in which worry occurs, the person is rarely experiencing any discomfort whatsoever.  In fact their condition is usually very content.  When the worrisome event actually occurs, it rarely comes close to living up to the hype from the worrier.  People would be much happier and less stressed if every time they found themselves worrying, the instead turned their attention to how pleaseant their present state of being was.  If people stopped for a moment to appreciate the detail in a leaf, or the glory of a blue sky, or the warmth of a smiling face, the world would be a better place.  Instead, worry clouds our skies, darkening our lives until it threatens to block out the light of the beauty in our world.

People want too much recognition.  It's one of the underlying (and urgent) problems in our education system.  Students cram their heads with facts, regurgitate them onto answer sheets, and then move on to the next subject, not once stopping to explore the significance or interest that lies in the piece of information they have just learned.  Those who seek enlightenment are looked at as oddities, weeds on the well-tended lawn of conformity.  Meanwhile, countless others push themselves through classes that don't interest them, learning to associate school with busywork and useless knowledge instead of creativity, innovation, and progress.  As a result, few people truly enjoy learning anymore.  They strive for A+'s, a high GPA, admittance into a top-notch university, for what benefit?  So they can live a life doing a job that they don't particularly enjoy to earn money that they can spend in ways to make people think well of them?  Desire to conform leads to a blurring of what is truly important to a student.  They no longer want what they want, but rather what society says they should want.  Even at Crystal Lake Central High School, a wonderful institution where teachers encourage true learning, and not just working for points, I listen to countless students a day tell how they are enhancing their college applications with honors and advanced placement courses that they don't learn from and don't enjoy.  They brag about the latest shortcut they've found to make homework take less time or how they convinced a teacher to give them extra credit.  They worry about being what society tells them they want to be instead of asking themselves what they truly want in life.  They fail to see the rainbow; instead worrying about getting wet.

I am extremely happy with the grades I have in school, but this means nothing.  The one thing I am most proud of, the thing that separates me from other "students," is that I love school.  I love learning.  I don't do assignments if they aren't enjoyable for me.  I routinely spend many extra, unnecessary hours working on an outline for my history class simply because I get caught up in the stories and the inticacies of the text.  I find myself whizzing through Physics in wonder as the universe is broken down into numbers and laws before my very eyes.   I stride into English looking forward to what that day's discussion will bring, hoping that another article is made available to me to analyze, praying that I get to write something.  I try to explain this to my peers and they look at me as if I should see a doctor.  I pity them.  They find no joy in school, the one activity that takes up the most time in their waking lives.

Don't conform.  Stop trying to make people like you.  Be happy.  Find joy in everything you do.  If there is no joy to be found, it is not worth doing.  Never sacrifice personal desires for societal ones.  Do what you love and love what you do.  See the beauty in the world.  I have seen it.  Search for the end of the rainbow.  I have found it.  Enjoy life.  I enjoy it immensely.  Rejoice.  I rejoice.

- Stuart Streit I

On athletes acting like idiots

One of the most bittersweet moments of the year for me is watching the World Series champs celebrate.  The way that they all run out of the dugout, mitts and hats flying, and congregate around the pitchers mound is beautiful to me.  No matter who wins (except for the 1997 Marlins, assholes), it's always fun to watch and I always look forward to it.  They act in ways that no fully-grown men ever act; running and jumping and laughing and joking.  On the other hand, it means that the season is over, winter has set in, and I'll have to focus my efforts on the Green Bay Packers and college basketball until April brings baseball and joy back into my life.

Watch this.  They all act like five year-olds.  How cool is that?  You can't blame them either.  If I was getting paid millions of dollars to play a game I loved I'd be pretty excited too.  There's no reason not to have fun.  These guys have the greatest jobs in the world and they act like it, as do their counterparts in other sports.  John Wall dancing, Shaq joking it up, T.O. doing his touchdown celebrations, these guys have way more fun than I think I ever will in whatever I end up doing.

On the plus side, my boring office job will put me at a much lower risk for the old bubble gum on the hat trick.

There is one obvious problem with the fact that athletes act like kids on the field, and that is, well, that athletes act like kids off the field.  They have overinflated egos, they whine and moan about not getting an extra couple million dollars, they turn around and blow those millions, they don't take responsibility for anything, and they pretty act like 250 pound kindergartners.

250 pound kindergartners can be dangerous

In the past few years we've seen multiple dong texts, a dude cheat on his wife with upwards of 10 (20? 300?) women and lose $100 million to her, a quarterback lose his prime to jail time after being caught operating a dog-fighting ring (Editor's note: Why is dog-fighting illegal if UFC is legal?  Should we pay the dogs?  And why the hell did Donte Stallworth get 1/19th of the jail time that Michael Vick got?  Deaths Responsible For: Vick - a bunch of dogs, Stallworth - a human), a man lose his life after trying to hang onto a moving truck, a guy contemplate retirement because the NFL won't let him try to seriously injure people anymore, and a bunch of things I'm probably forgetting.

These guys are idiots, very true, but nobody's paying them to be smart or make good decisions.  While I probably wouldn't want any girl I know to date Tiger Woods, I still love him as a golfer.  I still love watching Michael Vick create on the football field.  I still love Brett Favre is actually pretty much just a douche bag.

I'll accept that these guys have a hard time being normal, functioning members of society as long as I can see them act like they love what they're doing.  These guys have it right.  Would the world not be more fun if the sales team dogpiled after getting a huge order?  The world needs to have more fun, and while there might not be many scenarios where we should be looking up to pro athletes as role models in everyday life, maybe we can take the things that they do on the field and apply them to the real world.  I don't possibly think this can be a bad thing.

A thank you note

Dear University of Notre Dame,

It's been a tough week, and even though it's getting back to normal, I'm not sure we're all the way there, not that we should be.  After recent events it's actually kind of shocking that we're not more thrown off.  Anyway, I'd like to thank you for being you.

College is supposed to be a buffer between childhood and the real world, and it is for the most part, but there are times that it feels like we've been launched into adulthood way too soon.  Stress builds up, schoolwork is daunting, sleep gets pushed to the wayside, and time seems to accelerate to incredible speeds.  Frankly, it sucks.  Fortunately, you've been able to counteract that in a bunch of ways, but mostly just by feeling like home.

Being a part of a community is priceless.  Having people to relate to, people who are in the same boat as you, people who have your back, people who understand what's going on in your life, your struggles and successes, is an unparalleled feeling.  Looking back at the major events of my life, it's not really the events that I miss, but the people associated with those events.  I miss the interactions, I miss overcoming adversity with them, I miss the inside jokes and the support system and the way that I learned about them in a way that can only happen from interacting with someone.  The reason I miss playing competitive sports so much is that I miss my teammates and I miss being on a team.  That's a special bond that doesn't compare to much.  On a team, everybody is on the same level and looking for the same thing, even though they can be totally different people, from totally different backgrounds, with totally different personalities.  That feeling is hard to replicate.

That's where you come in, Notre Dame.  You've given me that same sense of belonging.  This place is definitely home to me.  It's not my only home, but it definitely is a home, and I'm surrounded by family.  The dorms are homes, roommates are brothers, and rectors are fathers.  The pride that everyone has in this place is what makes us all stand up for it to the level that we do and what makes us back each other up in the way that we do.  No matter what goes on, somebody has your back, and knowledge of that is extremely comforting.  Thanks for that Notre Dame, I really appreciate it.  Even though sometimes you throw me into the fire that is the responsibility of adulthood, I'm glad that you always have someone to jump in after me.

Even though it's been a hard past couple of days, we're gonna bounce back.  I promise.  That's what families do for each other.  We help each other through tough times like this.  You've always helped all of us when we're down, so we're all going to have to help each other, and help you, since you're down.  We'll get back there.  We owe it to you.

Love,
Young William