A lesson on dressing up

Growing up, I always was very self-conscious of the level of dressiness I should use in various situations.  One never wants to be under-dressed, but at the same time, you can't be too over-dressed.  This leaves a very narrow window to aim at, and if you miss it, you look like a total fool.  Obviously there are pretty standard situations (t-shirts to school, polos and sweaters to church, nude in the shower), but in other situations it gets a little iffy.  For instance, what does semi-formal mean?  When somebody says, "I'd wear a shirt and tie," does that mean you wear a shirt and tie, or is that code for "If you don't wear a suit you'll get laughed out of the building."  Fear no more, Young William.

Rules of Attire:

1.  A full suit is never a bad option, especially when nobody else is wearing one.
"But Will, won't you look like an idiot?"  Not at all.  The key to rocking a suit is to act like there's no reason you shouldn't be wearing one.  People will most likely give you 3 or 4 (or 5 or 6 or 7...) judgmental looks that basically say, "this man is a tool," to which the proper response is by giving them a look that says "Did you not give the suit memo?"  This will: A. Make them feel self-conscious, B. Make them wonder if they should be wearing a suit, and C. Have to admit (at least mentally) that you are one suave looking dude.  The key to high fashion sense is to look just out of place enough where people are afraid to say something because they're afraid that they simply haven't picked up the latest trend.  Is wearing a suit to a pool party considered good form?  Probably not, but they won't say anything just in case it is. 

This man looks ridiculous, but nobody will ever mention it, because what if we're all wrong and there are supposed to be butterfly collars on vests?

2.  Nudity is never a bad option
Just kidding.  But not really.  But kind of.

3.  Bright colors are the best
Personal preference of course, but seriously, looking bold just screams "I'm a badass."  Bright colors stand out the most in a crowd, which is important, because if you don't stand out, it really doesn't matter how good you look.  Take camo for instance: extremely cool, but if nobody can see it, does it really matter...? (bad example).  Also, I have nothing backing me up on this, but I'm fairly certain that girls like dudes who are willing to take risks, like wearing bright shirts.  Therefore, if you wear bright shirts, they'll automatically assume that you'll step in front of a bus for them (don't do that) (unless you actually like the girl or the bus is moving super slow, in which case, go for it). 

4.  Always match your eye color
Proven fact, people look up to 39.228 times better when their shirt matches their eye color. 

Especially if your eyes look this good.

5.  When it doubt, WWJDD

What Would John Daly Do?