God exists, and He's a sports fan.

In which Young William executes an awesome idea from Even Younger Stuart (who was too busy to write this.  What's that about?)

On Friday night I received a text from Stuart that said something along the lines of "A-Rod just struck out to end the game.  Rangers win!"  He went on to discuss the various ways that this reflected the incredible karma coming back to help the Rangers and bite Rodriguez in the butt.  I can definitely respect a lot of things about the Yankees: Jeter, Girardi, Posada, Rivera, Cano, the old guard of the 90s, but one thing I can't respect is A-Rod.  This guy is the baseball version of LeBron James.  As Stuart so beautifully wrote in his email: "Great natural talent, roided, incredibly vain/metro, no competitive desire (accepted losing shortstop position to jeter just so jeter would carry him to a championship, which took 6 years anyway), douchebag, (see running across [Dallas Braden's] mound [editor's note:  this absolutely should be a big deal.  Anybody who says otherwise doesn't understand baseball.  Nobody should touch the mound except for the pitcher and the catcher/pitching coach on visits], charging mound against bronson arroyo for no reason, slapping ball out of bronson arroyo's glove for no reason [Stuart also forgot to mention A-Rod calling a ball while running around the bases in Toronto), highly paid) strikes out looking to eliminate yankees (the fucking new york yankees)"  I really can't think of any better way to describe this man in words, so we'll move into the visual realm:

This isn't even a manly hit.  A tackle would have been kind of cool, if not acceptable.  But seriously, what kind of a weenie slap is this?

I can understand self-confidence, but what is this?  Can it get any gayer?

Yes.  Yes it can.

 On the other side of the ball is the Texas Rangers organization.  Let's take a look at their past few years:

2006: Josh Hamilton is still out of baseball after leaving the game in 2004 to focus on sex, drugs, and alcohol.  Goes in and out of rehab, almost killed himself, signs with the Reds in 2007, and then with the Rangers in 2008.
2008-2009: Colby Lewis is a member of the Hiroshima Toyo Carp of the Japanese League because nobody in the MLB wanted him.  As in, zero teams.
March 17, 2010:  Sports Illustrated reports that Manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine during the 2009 season.  This is the cool part:  The Rangers refused to let him resign.  How great is that?  If all of the players and the organization are willing to rally around their coach despite this big of a problem, it's obvious that they're the definition of a true team.  This was their guy, and he had been for three years, and they weren't going to give up on him.
May 24, 2010:  The Rangers file for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.  This is a bad thing.  How do they manage to win games while trying to make sure that they don't go under completely as a business?
August 4, 2010:  Nolan Ryan (and Chuck Greenberg) buys the Rangers in a public auction.  Probably the most famous Ranger of all time is now in charge of the organization.  This not only shows his loyalty, but it gives the team someone to cheer for, and fans that had drifted away a reason to come back.
October 10, 2010:  After being ahead 2-0 against the Tampa Rays, those of the best record in the American League (and only one win behind the Phillies for best record in baseball, but the Phillies don't really count because they play in the B League), the Rangers lose 5-2, at home, which sends the series back to Tampa.  Time to panic.
October 22, 2010:  After beating the Rays in the rubber match, Neftali Feliz strikes out A-Rod to win the ALCS.  Colby Lewis (see above) is the winning pitcher with an 8 inning, 7 strikeout, 3 hit performance.

Maybe the Yankees should have traded A.J. Burnett to the Carp for this guy

Add to that mix the idea that the Rangers had never even won a playoff series in the first 49 years of their existence, this: Cliff Lee's wife harassed by Yankees fans, plus the idea that Michael Young is basically the anti-A-Rod (and since A-Rod is thought to be the anti-Christ, does that mean that...?), having stuck with the Rangers through thick and thin (mostly thin), always put his team first, never demanded a huge contract, and is basically just an overall class act, and you get one of the best feel-good stories ever.  Karma finally comes around.

What about other possible beauty in the world of sports.  Where else could the underdogs finally get their chance and the frontrunners finally fall?  Stuart (and LtP) have you covered on some possible situations where balance would finally be found.

The Brett Favre Category
Brett Favre throws 3 picks and has a 50.4 passer rating in what is probably (but not really) his last trip into storied Lambeau Field and in front of the fans who he led on and the management that he blames for what can only be labeled as his arrogance and assholishness

Wait, apparently that already happened.

However, last year, well before Brett Favre threw his ironic interception against the Saints in the NFC championship, and waaaaaay before any of us knew who Jenn Sterger was or how big Favre's penis was, Stuart sent the following to Bill Simmons' mailbag over on ESPN.com

I have been watching the entire season looking for signs of this.  I've been hoping and hoping that it will happen, and it is beginning to look like it will, so here's my "Great Call of The Week:" Brett Favre will lead the Packers to the Super Bowl this year.  Think of how perfectly he has built this up.  The ugly divorce from the team that he had played almost his whole career with.  The one year in Packer fan purgatory (AKA The New York Jets), before descending to hell in Minnesota.  There would be no reason for a Packer fan to cheer for him again, he has completely crossed the line.  He has made people choose whether they are a Favre fan or a Packer fan, and contrary to what that asshole wrote a few weeks ago on Page 2, you can not be both.  What fans of either may never know is this: Brett Favre planned the whole thing.  He knew he was getting old, he knew he was unreliable, and after the loss to the Giants in his last best chance he made up his mind.  He would go to Minnesota, and win the Packers a Super Bowl there.  He, being Brett Favre, knew how the 2009 season would play out.  He knew that the seedings for the playoffs would be 1.New Orleans 2.Minnesota 3.Arizona 4.Dallas/Philly (Sorry Giants fans) 5.Green Bay 6. Dallas/Philly (Sorry once again Giants fans).  When he saw the Saints vulnerability he threw last night's game against the Cardinals, thereby locking the Vikings into the 2 seed.  He knew that the Packers would easily beat the NFC East champion in the first round, and he knew that the Cardinals would get themselves to the second round, insuring that the Vikings and Packers wouldn't meet until the NFC Championship, with the Vikings trouncing the Cardinals and Aaron Rodgers leading the Packers to the biggest NFL upset since Pats-Giants as they beat the Saints.  Then, in the climate-controlled Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, Brett Favre planned to throw 4 interceptions, including a 5th to seal the game, before ripping off his Vikings jersey to reveal his old Packers one underneath it.  The credits would roll as Aaron Rodgers, yes, Aaron Rodgers, carried him off the field to Mike McCarthy, who would greet Favre with a heartfelt man-hug similar to Francona-Lester.  Brett would then stand on the sidelines for the Super Bowl, holding a clipboard and wearing a headset, conversing with Rodgers during timeouts, wearing his jersey no matter Goodell's fine, watching his Green Bay Packers win the NFL Championship.

Simply beautiful.  If only it would have happened.  Now it looks doubtful that both the Packers and Vikings make the playoffs, and it's possible that they'll both miss out.  But boy what a story it would be.  Brett, if you're reading this right now, at least consider it.  I'll totally forgive you for the whole asshole routine you pulled.

Oregon beats Boise State in BCS Championship while LeGarrette Blount watches from sideline
Boise State is a joke.  I understand that they beat everybody on their schedule, but they are bastardizing the system.  If Boise State had to play Big XII, Big 10, SEC, or Pac-10 teams every week, there's no way that they would be able to play as well at the end of the year as they currently do.  The wear and tear of playing starters for 60 minutes in tough football against the best teams in the nation would kick their butts.  Would they be a good team?  Yes.  Would they be Top 25?  Yes.  Would they be number 3 in the country right now?  Doubt it.  Just last week, in a conference game, Boise used three quarterbacks in a game at San Jose State.  Nobody in the power conferences has that luxury.  These guys are good, but they're not that good, which is part of what makes the following situation so intriguing.

Last year, in the first game of the season, Boise State beat Oregon fairly convincingly, and after the game, Boise linebacker Byron Hout went out of his way to taunt Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount.  After being taunted by this mediocre linebacker, Blount punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground (video here).  Blount was suspended for the season (he was later readmitted to the team after missing 10 games), while Hout, the instigator of the situation's case was "handled internally," according to Boise coach Chris Petersen.  Nobody ever really found out what Hout's punishment was, but he didn't miss any games, so the extra running or water boy duty or whatever was handed down didn't begin to approach what Oregon (not the NCAA) gave to their resident idiot.

Currently, Boise State is ranked third in the BCS, while Oregon is second.  Only Auburn is ahead of them, and they face a remaining schedule that includes Ole Miss, Georgia, Alabama, and the SEC championship game, none of which can be considered for sure wins (see what I mean about it being harder to play in a power conference?).  If Auburn does lose, there's a good chance that Oregon and Boise could rematch in the national championship.  How sweet would it be if the Ducks could pull off a victory with Blount on the sidelines, and give him the opportunity to shake both Petersen and Hout's hands after the game in the ultimate "I'm a classier dude than you" moment.  If this happens I will be the happiest man in America.  I believe that Blount deserved a suspension, but not for ten games when he was clearly not the instigator.  Hout, who was cowardly enough to approach a man, who was by himself, that he had just beaten in a game, while surrounded by his teammates, and then taunt him, definitely deserved a suspension of equal magnitude of Blount's, but instead has given the harsh treatment of what was probably a stern talking to and a few extra sprints.  Karma needs to come in.

Looks like a nice dude to me

The Miami Heat Category
Stuart also sent me the following:

• LeBron blows out knee in first game of season (sort of sadistic)

• Cavs somehow make playoffs as 8 seed, take Game 1 from Heat before losing series in horrific fashion (poetic and unrealistic)

• Cavs somehow make playoffs as 8 seed, take Heat to 7 games before losing (poetic and unrealistic) or beat them (really unrealistic)

• Dwyane Wade forces trade to any other team in NBA to prove he doesn't take easy road, beats Heat in playoffs (really unlikely)

• Bulls beat Cavs in Eastern Conference Finals with Joakim Noah blocking LeBron's shot on the final play (Noah yelled at LeBron for dancing during a victory once, Preserves 90's Bulls as greatest dynasty ever, protects Jordan's legacy, most plausible of all these situations)

What he didn't consider was the fact that the Heat would go into Larry Bird's house, Kevin McHale's house, and Bill Russell's house, three great one-team players, loyal players, all of which have championship rings (3, 3, and 11), and get their butts kicked by the Celtics.  True balance, true beauty.  God exists, and He's a sports fan.