New Year's Resolutions

Bad news, folks.  Only four days into 2011 and my annual resolution of not biting my fingernails anymore has come to a screeching halt.  Mom always told me that I'd never have any friends or get married because of ugly fingernails (she's batting 1.000 for now), so I figure I should try to pick this one back up on January 5th.  Anyway, now that my on again off again (but mostly on again) relationship between my teeth and my fingernails has been firmly established, and since I only get one more chance to do this since the world's gonna end in December, 2012, I've decided to make some other New Year's Resolutions:

1.  Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other - You see, the old way wasn't working, so it's on us, to do what we gotta do, to survive.
2.  Listen to more Tupac - The man knows what he's talking about
3.  Prove that Tupac is still alive - and preferably have a meet and greet session after.

Tupac changed his name to "Steve Yzerman" on September 14, 1996

4.  Buy "Just Dance" for Wii
4 (a).  Become "Just Dance" World Champion
5.  Move to Australia
6.  Play more piano - for the sole purpose of serenading girls
6 (a).  Find a girl that will put up with me long enough to let me serenade her
6 (b).  Avoid restraining orders
7.  Don't kill Voldemort the fish
8.  Be Tonya Harding to LeBron James' Nancy Kerrigan
9.  Figure out why ESPN isn't showing ND basketball on TV right now
10.  Ice Jimmy Clausen - and Jay Cutler
11.  Get the people of the great state of Wyoming something besides, well, nothing.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that's it

12.  Introduce Rex Ryan and John Madden - with their football appreciation I'm sure they'd hit it off pretty well

"Why yes, Rex, I do believe this would help your wife's feet stay beautiful."

13.  Convince Brian Kelly to have a tryout for the position of "Slow, short white guys who can't jump."
13 (a).  Attend tryout
13 (b).  Make it at least past the first 13 minutes of tryout
14.  Declare myself eligible for the NBA draft
15.  Get a shoe deal
16.  Be a leader
16 (a).  Become a legend
17.  Try to get visited in a dream by Ron Santo and/or Bob Feller
18.  Remind everybody that lacrosse is exactly like hockey (without the ice, and with a bigger goal, and with less pads on the goalie which makes the goal even bigger) so it's just as hard (right?)
19.  Watch the Indians and Cubs both in the World Series
19 (a).  Watch the Indians and Cubs both manage to lose the World Series
20.  See Brett Favre "play his last game"
21.  Get Ellen Page's number
21 (a).  Accidentally get Ellen Page pregnant while we're both still in high school, find a couple to adopt the baby before it's born, be ignored by Ellen Page for a while, before she realizes that the husband of the adoptive parents is a sleaze and that I still love her despite her baby, visit the hospital after the birth and spoon as the credits roll.
22.  Dumonts.  Lots and lots of dumonts.
23.  Forge a fifteen year Packers contract with Aaron Rodgers signature
24.  Figure out a way to keep Rich Rodriguez at Michigan
25.  Eat more Mike & Ikes
26.  Floss (but only cause my mom told me to and could definitely beat me up)

Home of the Cyclones

27.  Retire numbers 1, 13, 24, 27, and 51 at Pete Dodd Field, home of the Crystal Lake Cyclones Traveling Baseball Club
28.  Convince the Crystal Lake Cyclones to officially change their name to the Crystal Lake Cyclones Traveling Baseball Club
29.  Lead Athens to a National Championship before Johnny Morgan graduates
30.  See if I can pull a Brett Favre-esque return to high school baseball without being caught
31.  Find another class taught by Pilky
32.  Not blow out my knee(s)
33.  World peace, obviously
34.  Run a marathon (as in at least 26.2 miles total for the year)
35.  Find out if I got the DePaul basketball coaching job I applied for last year.
36.  Get on a game show
37.  Play the lottery
38.  Grow 5-7 inches
39.  Maintain the world's bushiest sideburns

Should keep me busy.  I'll check back in 360 days to see how I did.  If you have any additional suggestions, feel free to comment.  Chances are that I'll bail on those too, but at least you will have thrown your ideas out there!