Important things to tell my kids

According to thinkexist.com, Larry Elder is "the sage from South Central."  If anybody knows what that means I'd appreciate some insight, because he said (at one point in his sagehood, naturally), "A goal without a plan is just a wish."  Therefore, I needed to make a plan to change my (apparent) wish of making millions of dollars off of my children in order to make it an official goal.  Larry Elder is really making my life a lot more difficult.

Young William's Long-Term Life Goals
1.  Marry a girl with a good job
2.  Become a stay at home dad
3.  Train my kids into superstar athletes and overall good people (but mostly superstar athletes)

The plan above is a watered-down version of a 487 page outline (8 point font) that I started (because of Larry Elder) on my computer as a file titled "Steps for living a great life," and plan to give to every girl that I ever intend on asking on a date, so that she can look it over and see if she even wants to give it a shot.  Included in that plan are day-by-day instructions for how I will become a drill sargeant total dick wonderful coach for my children.  Unfortunately, I'm still kind of cloudy on the whole "become a good father" thing (apparently it comes with experience).   Nineteen years without children has given me absolutely zero experience, and therefore I'm still unable to fill in the blanks about that portion of my future life.  Fortunately, the past nineteen years haven't been a total waste, as I've been able to pick up a few things along the way that I think are probably worth passing on in one way or another.  In the next few days (or weeks, depending on my motivation levels, get off my case), I'm going to throw out a few more of these.  Feel free to throw them back.